For a brief update,
I have been busy, working, and leading a life in Asia,
Been travelling as well for business trips,

I have been confused, and had been debating with myself,
for many things that don’t seem to add up,
and don’t seem to be acceptable in the society I am living in.

Recently, there’s a change in my friend’s webhosting,
and thus, I lost a few posts,
but I’ll update more, soon….

I have been trying to capture non-portrait pictures,
and hope when I’ve found some inspiration,
I’ll add some quotes or poems

Unlike 2009 New Year Day,
I didn’t cut a cake.

The year 2009 is ending,
and the new year 2010 is arriving,
in 4 hours, 30 minutes,
and a few more seconds, to be precise.

What was my last year’s new year’s resolution?
to survive the year?
“to get stronger this year, and healthier”

It has been a year since college graduation,
and what have I accomplish on the year 2009?
Besides family issues,
I guess, Chinese and Indonesian language skill?

As time pass by,
I learnt more of my history, my family,
and myself.

But at the same time,
time also help to clean some of my memory,
heal some wound,
and free some of my hard drive, good or bad.

Living in China as a foreign student (as I have always been) in the year 2009,
is not as I expected it to be,
I thought that I belong here (as a Chinese),
but, no, I don’t think I am welcomed here.
I guess, I feel belonged (or home) being with my family, and my dog.

Next year’s resolution?
to survive the year, lead a more meaningful life,
provide as much happiness as possible,
and start earning profit and sales!

Health wise,
I can only cross my fingers,
I can’t afford to lose anything more than what I am expecting,
and I can’t afford to lose anyone either.

To conclude the year,
it is time for me to officially bid farewell to my student life,
and expect the best of a new life as a business woman.

Happy New Year, Everyone!

“We are all something, but none of us are everything.” Blaise Pascal

Love, Relationship, Marriage,
are all very controversial topic,
especially when discussed with different people from different countries.

It is such a boring, un-debatable discussion,
that I hate to discuss with the class,
because I am a very different and odd individual,
and everyone is different.

Each of us have our own opinion,
so why choose the topic to be discussed in Oral Chinese class?

It’s annoying and disturbing to be here,
I need a personal space,
from this environment,
from this society.

“Actually, everyone’s life is similar. Some are wide and some are narrow. The only difference is how we looked at it.”

No one’s life is perfect,

everyone has their own problem.

Therefore,

I am not alone.

I might just be looking at my life with one of my camera lens.

It may look different if I looked at it with a different lens.

What’s important, is,

How my eyes perceive the image through those lenses.

What’s your goal coming out from here?
What would you want us to help you?
I always got confused answering these kinds of questions.
Because I have no idea what I want, or what kind of help I need.
All I know, is that, I am the only one who can help myself.

A few more days,
made me wonder,
what if,
why did you,
how could she…

Ventilators, Nurses, Doctors,
recalled my memory,
a painful ones,
one that I am scared of repeating.

When I was packing up for Beijing in Singapore,
I was distracted by the stacked pictures I took in Singapore.
Those photographs bring back memories,
the sweetness and sourness, and also the bitterness of our past.

That night, I took out that particular yellow photo album,
It was painful to flip the page,
but it was even more painful to recall those memories.
They also remind me of being in that room, or similar room.

Time passes,
Day by day, I involuntarily lose those little bits of memories,
Those pictures, will always remind me of how much all of us has been through.

In a couple of weeks, it will be 9 years since we met,
Though related in many ways, you are so far away,
Others might have forgotten you,
but I will not.

“We try to grab pieces of our lives as they speed past us.
Photographs freeze those pieces and help us remember how we were.
We don’t know these lost people but if you look around,
you’ll find someone just like them” – Gene McSweeney

For the past week,
Flying is the only thing that has been hovering in my mind.

I feel like a failure,
I was the one who made my decision,
and here I am, not being able to bear the pressure here,
emotionally, and maybe physically.

I may be running away from my own problems and feeling,
but I am sure that I will handle this in my very own way.
and maybe being away from problems for a while,
may help me psychologically, and physically.

For now,
Let me bear with the pain,
as it will go away, soon, for sure.

I need to get out,
I need to fly out,
from this crowded and populated country,
and from this polluted capital city.
+ from this disturbing feeling.

China,
a country that is populated with 1.38 Billion,
where some laws practiced in reverse from most countries in the world.

If only 10% of the population are helpful (and useful, bluntly speaking),
but so far, none was found,
not even in the police station or in the foreign department for foreign students.

What disgust me most are those who work in the police department,
who viewed themselves as "the justice or the law" but are just iniquitous.

Remember "Officer": being able to speak a little Chinese does not mean that I understand you completely.
Being an INTERNATIONAL STUDENT does not mean that I understand all the procedures in CHINA!

If only the people practice to follow some of the law,
if only pedestrian’s way of right is superior than vehicle’s (especially cars and buses)
I’m very sure China’s image will improve,
at least in my point of view.

I hope my point of view of China will change, for better or worse, before I go Home.
Yes, Home, as I am returning earlier than I have planned.

@ Xiamen Beach Party

Life is just like fireworks

It looks loudly beautiful when sparks,

It should always be remembered beautifully,

But it can also be deadly amd harmful,

There are other purposes for firework’s usage,

Just like this life, we have other meanings in life too,

But i would still try to view it as a meaningful beaute,

Which has , many different alternative purpose and contribution.