For a brief update,
I have been busy, working, and leading a life in Asia,
Been travelling as well for business trips,

I have been confused, and had been debating with myself,
for many things that don’t seem to add up,
and don’t seem to be acceptable in the society I am living in.

Recently, there’s a change in my friend’s webhosting,
and thus, I lost a few posts,
but I’ll update more, soon….

I have been trying to capture non-portrait pictures,
and hope when I’ve found some inspiration,
I’ll add some quotes or poems

Unlike 2009 New Year Day,
I didn’t cut a cake.

The year 2009 is ending,
and the new year 2010 is arriving,
in 4 hours, 30 minutes,
and a few more seconds, to be precise.

What was my last year’s new year’s resolution?
to survive the year?
“to get stronger this year, and healthier”

It has been a year since college graduation,
and what have I accomplish on the year 2009?
Besides family issues,
I guess, Chinese and Indonesian language skill?

As time pass by,
I learnt more of my history, my family,
and myself.

But at the same time,
time also help to clean some of my memory,
heal some wound,
and free some of my hard drive, good or bad.

Living in China as a foreign student (as I have always been) in the year 2009,
is not as I expected it to be,
I thought that I belong here (as a Chinese),
but, no, I don’t think I am welcomed here.
I guess, I feel belonged (or home) being with my family, and my dog.

Next year’s resolution?
to survive the year, lead a more meaningful life,
provide as much happiness as possible,
and start earning profit and sales!

Health wise,
I can only cross my fingers,
I can’t afford to lose anything more than what I am expecting,
and I can’t afford to lose anyone either.

To conclude the year,
it is time for me to officially bid farewell to my student life,
and expect the best of a new life as a business woman.

Happy New Year, Everyone!

Had the worst cold this year
Had tons of meds,
and still have sniffles!

After being sick for so many days,
I’m going back to attend my classes!

I want to go back

This is a mistake.
I miss Singapore,
I miss my princess,
I miss my family.

I am ready to leave

“We are all something, but none of us are everything.” Blaise Pascal

Love, Relationship, Marriage,
are all very controversial topic,
especially when discussed with different people from different countries.

It is such a boring, un-debatable discussion,
that I hate to discuss with the class,
because I am a very different and odd individual,
and everyone is different.

Each of us have our own opinion,
so why choose the topic to be discussed in Oral Chinese class?

It’s annoying and disturbing to be here,
I need a personal space,
from this environment,
from this society.

“Actually, everyone’s life is similar. Some are wide and some are narrow. The only difference is how we looked at it.”

No one’s life is perfect,

everyone has their own problem.

Therefore,

I am not alone.

I might just be looking at my life with one of my camera lens.

It may look different if I looked at it with a different lens.

What’s important, is,

How my eyes perceive the image through those lenses.

Because even before breaking spondylolisthesis news,
I have been trying to not rely on friends and families.

I am thankful that I have a caring family
BUT
I am not thankful for being who I am,
for what had happened, nor for what I am “Given”.

I am scared,
BUT I have to live in reality,
I have to move on,
no matter how heavy the obstacles are awaiting.

Sometimes life is just like driving in a very foggy weather,
you need to gather up the courage to drive forward,
relying on your fog lights, yellow flashy street signs, and your instincts.

I realized how much free time I had but wasted them.
I could have do as much scrapbook, blogs, readings, Gmats,  studying mandarin or spanish, and some others.
But I had wasted my time watching dramas online or watch tv.

I HAVE TO train my mind and body to wake up early,
do exercises to keep fit,
and clean up the house!

I am and have been trying to save up money (mostly by food),
and hopefully will be a success to pay the medical bills and
hopefully able to lift my dad’s burden (even though it is challenging).

I can’t help my feelings toward everything.
Feelings are very hard to control that I remember Sharon from British Council told me,
“Easy to say, but hard to do”.

Similarly, it is easy to ask someone to feel good or grateful about someone,
but it is hard to do because my mind and my heart do not go hand-in-hand.

My mother is hurt, but no one realizes how much all of us are hurt too.
One can blame and convinced other people, but they don’t realize who has a healthier brain.