Day by Day, it seems like the days are getting harder to go by.
Week by Week, it seems like my left leg is getting more painful when I try to move.
From time to time, it seems like my right back and leg is starting to get affected.
Week by Week, it seems like my breathing is getting more inconstant.
Month by Month, I started to hate myself.
I am starting to hate my legs, my spine, my back, my health.
I am starting to hate myself, for being so weak, unable to cope with my problem by myself,
and yet, I let others, both family and friends, to worry about me, and got upset due to my complaints.
Again, I started to ask, is there really a God in this world?
who would let human beings to suffer.
I want to be able to play sports, to run around, to be strong,
just like everyone else.
I don’t want to get tired so easily.
How will I be able to help out in the future if I get tired easily,
and have restricted range of motion, restricted posture, and not allowed to carry a normal load of weight?
Is there any more meaning for me to live like a disabled?
I started to walk funny. Limping, specifically.
It is becoming more obvious day by day.
Do I really have to go through this shameful days that is torturing me everyday?
In front of everyone in this world?
I regret having to come in this world.
How long do I have to be who I am now?
who has to live through pain every day?
How would I be able to face my restrictions and torture with a big heart? or even with love?
For now, I will keep trying.
But how long will I survive this pain?
